Mikey Goes to Hollywood

The Watermelon Listed at Celebrity Video

2009-05-24T16:04:00.000-07:00

The Watermelon is listed at Celebrity Video now, see here, y'all...

It will also be available to rent on Netflix and @ Blockbuster...but is that better than owning your very own copy?

Odd...summer seems to be Watermelon time...the screenplay was optioned summer 2006, shot summer 2007, first shown summer 2008 at San Diego Film Festival, and now hits the streets summer 2009...a three year process, typical story of any indie (and studio) film.

Pre-Summer Updates

2009-05-24T08:22:00.001-07:00

Things been a bit quiet on the Hollywood front, other than the documentary for Cannes Short Film Corner, working on revisions for How to Win a Diamond Ring, trying to finish pilot scripts for The Interior and Sanchez & Kelly, gearing up for TV show pitch time over the coming five months, and trying to wrap a zillion things up in the book publishing biz.

Major projects: big novel, Raymond Carver biography, revise Gordon Lish book, put First Person Sociology anthology together, finish Vollmann bibliography.

The stage version to Stations is being produced this summer at Compass Theater in San Diego, opens July 13. Have not gone to any rehearsals yet. The future of the film version still lingers...

A Critique of Star Trek

2009-05-24T03:02:00.000-07:00

My critical book on star Trek is now out, get it here at Amazon or here at MobiPocket.

Watermelon Update

2009-04-20T07:35:00.001-07:00

Did writer's audio commentary on The Watermelon two weeks ago.

It will be out on DVD and BluRay July 4 from Celebrity Video.

Buy or rent from Blockbuster, Netflix, Amazon, etc. Might be in those Redbox DVD kiosks too.

Short documentary update

2009-04-20T07:33:00.001-07:00

Editing "Life in Zona Norte" right now, for its Cannes screening.

I have kept a blog about the process here.

A sneak peak can be viewed here at YouTube.

Short Doc Gets Green

2009-03-09T20:31:00.000-07:00

I have been given the green light/micro grant to shoot a short documentary film for Real Ideas Studios for a program of international short docs that will be screened at Cannes Film Festival this May.

The doc will be about lives in Tijuana's zona norte -- the street vendors, the street walkers, the children playing in the gutter...

Film Life Updates

2009-02-28T20:41:00.000-08:00

The Watermelon has a distribution deal on the table...we are gonna go for it, it seems, keeping theatrical and foreign rights while distrib. will get it on Netflix, with Blockbuster, pay per views, chain stores etc. Will this help pay off investors and deferred pay? One can hope a dent will be made -- I dream of the day I may actually get my deferred script fee and producer's salary.

Two projects have had their options re-newed last week. Much needed $$$. Will they ever get made? Who knows. Hopefully.

My screenplay The Gold Tooth is in competition at the Beverly Hills Film Festival. This is, what, my fourth year there? The first one, 2006, Liv Kellgren was so excited about attending as we had two scripts in competition, and she had never come this close to the fabled Hollywood Dream, but of course she fucked that up for herself like she does everything (see first post of this blog) and missed out on that in her life, the Hollywood dreamer who had Hollywood denied. Deservedly so.

Looks like I may get this microgrant to make a short documentary in Tijuana, that will screen at Cannes with a few others. Will know for sure in a week or two but my phone talk with the project mentor went well. I'm keen on showing something at Cannes this year.

Looks like Fifty Bucks may be dead in the fray and its rights tied up till November. I think Sean is gonna fuck me out of the Chinese-set version for Amblin, like I knew he would. Ya just can;'t trust anyone in H'wood.

Trying to finish pilots The Interior and Sanchez & Kelly for pitching season this summer. Do wanna get The Interior into Slamdance's TV thing. I think it could do as well as Blogger did and make final cut.

Dunno if my short "Valerie" will be shot. Was supposed to last Jan. -- I go thru this a lot with sorts: these people get all hyped on shooting my stuff, using them as calling cards and festival entries, all this big talk, and then they bail or vanish. Ya just got deal with all the "talkers" in H'wood who love to gab about what they're gonna do and they never do shhhyat.

"So it goes." -- Kurt Vonnegut

Dispatch from Park City:

2009-01-23T23:44:00.000-08:00

Cold & snowy. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Options and Scripts Update

2008-12-30T13:32:00.000-08:00

The option on Wild Turkey fell through, but there is another interested party...a bit miffed because we had a verbal deal set in place and the money guy backed out last minute.

Fifty Bucks is optioned,though (same money guy), but one of the guys involved, who will act in it, is giving a go at the rewrites himself. Whatever. he is WGA, though, and has some film credits, including a Ray Liotta film. No one has ever been able to match my cadence and dialogue when trying to work inside one of my scripts. They can't. A few have tried and failed; no one has succeeded. But everyone in Hollywood wants to "play writer" because if it "looks" easy, they think it's "easy."

The money guy asked me about writing some short scripts for what will be Grindhouse Online. We came up with a verbal deal but he has yet to pay me, so I have done no work yet on the script he asked me to revise or revising the other one of mine, "The Crimes of Joy," that he seems to want. (A short segment of that script appears asa TV show that Achilles Pumpkinseed watches in The Watermelon, shot in cool noirish black and white.)

Trying to wrap new screenplay, North Hollywood, before 2009 rings in, so I can "feel" like I finished one more screenplay for 2008.

Doing a short script adapt of Carver's story, "Gazebo," for myself.

Still working on pilot script of Sanchez & Kelly.

Didn't make final cut at Sundance Screenwriting Labs for The Gold Tooth.

Have submitted Stations with my application to Film Independent's Director's Lab.

The Watermelon didn't make it in Slamdance or Palm Springs Film Fest -- which was a long shot anyway. It is currently at Santa Barbara, Tribeca, Beverly Hills, Newport Beach, Portland, Los Angeles, and Malibu. An entertainment lawyer has agreed to rep us and we got high scores at a certain sales rep group who may offer to take it on once the top guy takes a look-see.

Options

2008-11-19T21:41:00.000-08:00

My script, Fifty Bucks, and novel, Wild Turkey, are being optioned...

Updates

2008-11-01T05:23:00.000-07:00

Ah, time to update on the film biz, the book biz, the life biz...

Went on my second Helm Fellowship to the Lilly at Indiana Univ. two weeks ago, this time to examine all the Vollmann art object books they have there, for an article, for an appendix in the forthcoming Vollmann crit book, and for an annotated bibliography that I am doing for Scarecrow Press (probably out in 2010). His book art objects are amazing, as always, viz:

As for The Watermelon, after its first screening at the SD Film Fest, we have it out at half a dozen other fests and talking with sales agents and planning other strategies, such as "platforming" in a city outside L.A. -- more on that later.

Am waiting to hear from Sundance Screenwritings Labs. I'm on the short list with my adapt of Frank Norris' McTEAGUE, called THE GOLD TOOTH. Should hear in December. I also applied, at the insistence of someone, to the Director's lab at Film Independent with STATIONS.

Looks like I will adapt Ronald Malfi's novel, PASSENGER (Delirium Books, 2008) into a screenplay. He has been bugging me about it. I looked it over today and yeah, it'd make a hot movie -- and since he's sold two projects to Paramount and has good Tinsel Town connections, why not?

There is a play and another screenoplay 'd like to wrap up by 2008's end, but I also have the Lish book, the Star Trek crit book, the crifiction book, and the Carver's women book to also wrap up...shit.

Duck me.

The Bukowski/Carver book is out from Borgo Press.

As is The Yacht People:

This one was supposed to have been out last March in the UK by Neon Books, but the imprnt was cancelled by the parent publisher, Orion Publishing. They paid me. Wildside Press now has it out.

What else? Black Lawrence Press accepted my collection of literary stories, Pictures of Houses with Water Damage, see their press release.

My experimental post-postmodern (auto)ethnography, Zona Norte, is out from Cambridge Scholars, and is actually selling for an academic book
(I'm sure the cover helps).

So...next is hardcore Zombie Girls, a novel that is way overdue, ridiculously overdue, so I have decided to complete it this month as my NaNoWrMo Project, while at the same time wrapping up the Gordon Lish book, and finishing a big project for Ninthlink.

Do I need to sleep for the next two months? Nah.

Cover to Vollmann Critical Book

2008-10-19T03:33:00.001-07:00

At the publisher: here

At Amazon

Zona Norte Cover

2008-10-06T12:17:00.000-07:00

DVD Cover for The Watermelon

2008-10-06T12:14:00.000-07:00

The Watermelon

2008-09-04T15:01:00.001-07:00

My movie's page @ the SDFF:

http://sdff.bside.com/2008/films/thewatermelon_sdff2008

The Audacity of Democracy

2008-08-25T03:28:00.000-07:00

So LightSong Films has been hired to make a documentary about some funny and possible illegal dealings in the Obama Campaign and the people funding (pulling the strings). The doc is produced by PUMA (Party Unity My Ass) and called The Audacity of Democracy. Right now, Brad and Lori are in Denver for the DNC.

It’s been weird for them…much traveling…here is a trailer of some of what they have shot.

But there are those, it seems, who do not want this doc made…

Brad talks about it on his blog – going from JFK Airport to O’Hare in Chicago, he was pulled aside by the TSA and searched and questioned. That’s no big deal, the same happened to me in March at the Indianapolis Airport – a 50ish tall TSA dude ZOOMED HIS SITES on me the second I walked in, I heard him say to another TSA guy, pointing at me, “He is a referral.” They searched all through my stuff (tho did not catch I had Tramadol in an aspirin bottle) and the tall guy asked me rapid-fire questions, the kind meant to trip you up, which does not work on me…

Anyway, Brad then says two rigid Air Marshall types sat on either side of him, not moving, not saying a word…coincidence, maybe…

But he found that both his XL2 cameras had been stolen. How does this happen in a post-911 Orange Alert era…if someone can WALK OUT with two big cameras, someone could WALK IN with a bomb, eh…unless of course the people doing security do the theft….so it was either the baggage handlers for Jet Blue or the PSA guys…the Chicago cops told Brad they felt it was the PSA, and noted that Chicago politicos are corrupt, and there are many in Chicago who have vested interested in Obama…

PUMA bought him a replacement and they are trying to get Jet Blue to pay for the loss. I guess there was no insurance and Jet Blue claims they cannot be held responsible for a political black ops theft…still, I think the threat of having Homeland come down hard on their security should get them to pony up.

Brad says in his blog he did get threats…

Then Lori says she came home and it looked like the door lock had been messed with, an d missing from the apartment was a notebook that had all her contacts, info, schedules, etc., for who to interview and meet…

This is not hard to believe. PUMA has their lines tapped, this doc has been in the news from The Wall Street Journal to FOX, so Obama’s people, whoever they really are (I feel Obama is actually fronted by the Republicans to keep Hilary off the ticket) are keeping tabs on this doc, and have done their intimidating…

I just hope they are okay in Denver and don’t get tossed in those mass jails or get beaten up…this is all I need now that The Watermelon is getting its wings…then again, this sort of newsworthy matters could help the film in great ways… “Producer and Director of Hemmingson Indie Film Disappear at DNC, Without a Trace.”

Kidding.

Well, this is the world we live in….we have free speech still, but they won’t make it easy for us to express it.

Still Working on Screenplay…

2008-08-25T03:10:00.001-07:00

…for Sundance Screenwriting Labs. I got an extension to Sept. 1. I have been having some blocks and just tinkering with little things, but I have to get my ass in gear and wrap it up this week…as it is an adaptation, I KNOW what is going to happen….

San Diego Film Festival

2008-08-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

Just got official word that THE WATERMELON, has been selected for the San Diego Film Festival, Sept. 25-28, two screenings at the Gaslamp AMC 15.

Don't know dates yet, which will be posted on the site c. Sept.
1--

www. sdff. org

Since I began this blog with the germination of the script and chronicled its journey to production, I now start the next phase -- the festival circuit run.

Adapting McTeague

2008-08-09T03:09:00.000-07:00

For the second time, I have made finalist round for the Sundance Screenwriting Lab, this time with my adaptation of Frank Harris 1897 novel, McTeague. The only film version is a cool 1924 Erich von Stroheim silent flick, Greed, which ran nearly 10 hours long. Storheim cut it down to 4, then MGM cut it down to an hour and a half and it flopped; the cut film was accidently put in the incinerator by a janitor and is lost forever. It was the highest budgeted film at the time, at half a million, unheard of in the silent film biz. I always wondered why no one re-did it -- I am sure there are some adaptations on development shelves, but the book is public domain so I can do my own.

I am having fun adapting someone else's work, let alone a classic novel, what Larry McCaffery calls the darkest, best dentist novel ever written. I am calling it MAC. I was calling it TEETH until I saw the recent indie, TEETH.

Some recent published stuff --

My cover story at the Reader on Tijuana violence --

http://www.sandiegoreader.com/news/2008/aug/06/greetings-from-tijuana/

A review-essay of Eric Kohn's PURSUING HOLLYWOOD --

http://www.qualitative-research.net/index.php/fqs/article/view/995

My novelette, "Long Island Iced Tea," has finally appeared in issue #35 of HARBOILED MAGAZINE and a prose poem, "Nothing," in Issue #33 of ART MAG.

Two short essays on Raymond Carver stories accepted in THE EXPLICATOR.

Thinking of doing my second Helm Felloship at India U's Lilly Library next month -- this time on the William Vollmann art books they have archived there, which I will write an essay on and include in my Vollmann bibliography.

SDFF

2008-06-02T22:25:00.001-07:00

Talked LightSong Films into letting me submit The Watermelon to the San Diego Film Festival. Their PR firm also handles the Reader's website.

The movie is ALMOST finished with post, half the original score is done and placed in, and the VO needs to be re-done, some finessing here and there, but after a year, it's time to finish this thing and get it out and sell it...I know it takes about a year for movie's to be in post, but really...it's time to get this out in public and determine if it is any good or not. I am too biased and close to it to gaze on it objectively. I want to watch an audience's response.

New Book out -- My 44th!

2008-05-31T06:03:00.000-07:00

My new novel, In the Background is a Walled City or, How Santa Claus and I Saved the World is now available from The Borgo Press --

Order here --

http://www.wildsidebooks.com/In-the-Background-Is-a-Walled-City_p_316-2349.html

or @ Amazon.com --

http://www.amazon.com/Background-Walled-City-Michael-Hemmingson/dp/1434402428/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1212239702&sr=8-1

Beverly Hills Fllm Festival - A Blogger's Gaze and Memory

2008-04-13T16:45:00.000-07:00

I arrived to the fest tired, half-asleep, straight from Mexico – who else but yours truly can go from a Tijuana slum to the heart of the heart of Beverly Hills within 4 hours?

This is the third year I have gone to BHFF, with a screenplay “in competition” for the screenwriting award. This year it is for Antarctica, set in the South Pole. I wrote it based on a story idea by my friend Will Beinbrink (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1080718/), who is also the lead male actor in my film The Watermelon. The script was short-listed for the Sloan Initiative at the Sundance Screen Lab, is submitted for the Sloan thing at the Hamptons Film Fest, and is in talks to be optioned with a certain entity/someone (more on that later as it does or does not develop).

In 2006 when I went to the BHFF, I had three scripts in the running, two co-authored by Liv Kellgren, the other The Watermelon. All have been optioned, one was made, none won the main award – so what does hat say abot subjectivity and judges? It says no one in Hollywood knows shit and cannot tell the difference between a good screenplay and a bad one.

I don’t know who won this year, yet, and I am not going to the awards ceremony @ $125 a plate; it all brings back bad memories. Two years ago, things really fell apart with Liv, badly, and at the last moment she not only failed to show up in Beverly Hlls, she attempted to cancel our dinner reservations on her credit card. She was told there were no refunds. She did this solely to make my happy experience a bad one. Her act of malice cost her $250. I had intended to reimburse her – since she tried to cancel dinner hours before it happened, without informing, I decided fuck it, if she wanted to hurt, it would come out of her pocket.

There is a price to pay for betrayal, and Liv Kellgren has paid it ten-fold.

All of this coming from someone who, weeks before, said, “I feel like I am living in a dream” because many of the things she (we) had dreamt of were starting to come true – many meetings with producers and studios, scripts being finalists and winning here and here and there…it was closer than she ever got…

Then she turned her dream into a nightmare...and has a bogus money scheming biz with fake testimonials: www.ConsciousEnvironments.com.

And I am always reminded of that time when I go the BHFF.

Last night, I told someone about my other bad memories of Beverly Hills, when I lived there back when I was 24, with Sharon, and how that went south and I truly became “down and out in Beverly Hills.”

9 months there…another life…

Maybe I should avoid that part of L.A. – Beverly Hills truly is where dreams are born and die…

As for the festival, as every year, I saw many great short fllms. Of the features, the best was the doc on The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, A Dutch Connection.

Bio-Diesel Fuel Conspiracy

2008-04-13T16:14:00.000-07:00

A DIFFERENT GAZE~AT HISTORY

At the Beverly Hills Film Festival (www.beverlyhillsfilmfestival.com) I watched a screening of the documentary Fields of Fuel (http://www.fieldsoffuel.com/) that chronicles the history and facts about “bio-diesel” liquid as an alternative and future fuel. The narrator of the film has written a book about this subject:

http://www.amazon.com/Fryer-Fuel-Tank-Vegetable-Alternative/dp/0970722702/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208126003&sr=8-1

Both book and film show how any diesel engine can run off treated vegetable-based oils (peanut, corn, soy, hemp) that do not emit harmful waste and are less costly than regular diesel fuel.

http://www.greasecar.com/

The documentary makes a radical claim that John D. Rockefeller was behind the drafting of the Volstead Act (http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/USAvolstead.htm) – a.k.a “The Dry Law” of the18th Amendment that engaged Prohibition, the outlawing of alcohol in America that gave birth to a great deal of criminal activity.

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/troy/4399/

Fields of Fuel claims Rockefeller wanted the manufacturing of booze illegal to stump the making of ethanol (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethanol_fuel), which was the basis for bo diesel fuel. At the time, the diesel engine was in its infancy and was slowly gaining popularity in the public If diesel cars became the wave of the future, Rockefeller’s Standard Oil could have been ruined – why use petrol-based fuel from the ground when corn oil could do a better, cheaper job?

http://hemp-ethanol.blogspot.com/2008/01/part-two-history-of-hemp-fuels.html

Inventor Rudolf Diesel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudolf_Diesel) did die a mysterious death before his engines could become all the age:

“In the evening of 29 September, 1913, Diesel took a ship (SS Dresden) to cross the English Channel from Antwerp, Belgium, to Harwich, England. He took dinner on board the ship and then retired to his cabin at about 10 p.m., leaving word for him to be called the next morning at 6:15 a.m. He could not be found the next morning. Ten days later, he was found dead in the water off the Dutch coast; after the recovery of his body, it was thrown back into water.”

Rockefeller did donate $350,000 to the Anti-Saloon League (http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/USAprohibition.htm) …but did was he the puppet master of the Prohibition, and was it to deter the making of bio-diesel fuels?

If this is so, it casts new light on American history, and all those gangsters, booze runners, speakeasys, and the thousands of people killed during that era were nothing more than pawns to ensure the oil barons got rich off of gasoline sales.

From Bloomington to Tijuana to bevelry Hills...

2008-04-09T20:59:00.000-07:00

I recently returned from Bloomington. I did my thing for the Gordon Lish project early than I anticipated, and it was a good trip for research and studying the Midwestern lifestyle. The information I gathered is invaluable for my book.

http://www.routledge.com/books/Gordon-Lish-and-his-Influence-on-Twentieth-Century-American-Literature-isbn9780415991773

I came home and headed for Tijuana to work on a feature story on the violence down there, which will probbaly make an appendix for Norte Norte, which I am still working on rewrites to return to SDDU Press.

Today, my cover story of street kids appeared in the Reader. Worked 7 weeks on that one, had a hard time kidding street kids to talk to me. An expanded version of it will wind up being a chapter on my auto/ethnographic project on homelessnehttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.italic.gif
insert italic tagsss, Now I Know What Happened to Me.

Next, off to Beverly Hills Film Festival this weekend. Third year in a row -- maybe I'll win a troply this time. The screenplay I did with Will, Antacrtica, that was short listed for Sundance/Sloan Screenwriter's Lab. It's the one that this certain kind fellow is interetsed in being his directoral debut, but I am also thinking he may like Because better, when I finish it, which I hope to do this month. Either would be fine with me -- I mean, it's another movie.

Speaking of movies...Stations still has ts set backs but I am working on getting it shot by years's end, and Mommy vs. the Evil Bank Robbers is inching along in pre-production. The who wanted to do my short, "asa and Andi," vanished on me, no surprise -- looking back in this blog, he's the third producer/director to flake on me. I suppose one of these days an unflake will take it on.

Working on an artcle about shooting The Watermelon and the state on indie films in San Diego. Had some good talks with the people at the SD Film Commission and SD Film Festival.

Ah, The Watermelon. I tremble, waiting to hear the original score. After seeing it so many times with the drop in music, it may be akin to seeing a whole new movie -- which I hope it is, and I hope the music is damn good. It is time for that film to get out of post-prod. and start heading for the festivals and buyers. LightSong Films says they want this to change all our lives, and that would be nice -- why do we do this stuff, this art stuff, if not for changing our lives...

My first published novel changed my life. My first full length play production chnaged my life. Hollywood thus far has changed my life -- sometimes for the worst, sometimes for the best, a mixed-blessing as I knew it would be. I have met some great people, I have met some insane people; I have been happy and hurt; I have been disillusioned and felt like I was on the right track; I have been helped and I have been lied to.

Meanwhile, I would like to get back to writing a novel soon, after all these non-fiction projects.

Of which, I am doing a study of blogging for Hampton Press and just signed the contract with McFarland for Women in the Work of Raymond Carver. I am waiting to hear from Indiana Univ. Press about my proposed biography of Carver, and son Borgo Press will release my dirty realist monograph on Carver and Bukowski. I am all Carvered out.

L.A. and Bloomington, IN

2008-03-20T13:53:00.000-07:00

I'm pitching some TV show concepts to the producer to Baywatch tomorrow, have some imporant meets with important peeps, then I am off to Indiana Univ. to do my Helm Fellowship and research Lish's papers.

Oh, will be doing a feature for the Reader about the two year process of writing and filming The Watermelon.

Helm Fellowship

2008-02-20T20:23:00.000-08:00

I am hoping to do my Vera Helm Fellowship at Indiana Univ's Lilly Library next month or April, I just need to block out two weeks of my life. I will be there to comb through the 13,000 items in the Gordon Lish archives, such as correspondence, original Carver manuscripts with editing marks, Lish’s own manuscripts, and whatever else will be usefor for my book on Lish for Routledge, that I am eager to complete.

The research will also come in handy for my Carver biography and maybe my other Carver crit book for McFarland.

Notes on Film, Fiction, and Auto/ethnography

2008-02-19T06:26:00.000-08:00

The Watermelon lingers in post-production limbo. An original score is being worked on. One musician flaked, so now there is another on it (or so I guess). It seems like long,,,,but shooting actually wrapped in Sept...most films, large or small, are in post 9-12 months. I know LightSong Films is seeking a publicist, and it is at one or two distributors, but there is really no point in shopping it and submitting it to festivals until it is absolutely ready...such is the indie film game, viz --

Some setbacks on Stations. I absolutely refuse to allow it to be changed, and the director had some cockmanie idea to set it in the past and change the locations, which would have never worked for this story and script; plus none of the conditions of the option contract have been met, and my chosen lead actress seems to have lost sight of why she moved to L.A. -- to be an actress; I knew this might happen. She is not taking classes to keep up her chops or auditioning, and instead prefers to "hang out" with the scenester crowd. She is working on her writing nd getting published, so maybe she is better off as a writer than an actress.

Speaking of which, LIV KELLGREN has also given up her biggest dream, Hollywood and acting, as she has not been cast in anything in over a year, and is attempting a THIRD buiness in feng shui, this time called Conscious environments. What a joke -- first it was Insite Out, then Feng Shui Specialities. She will never learn; my psychic Nancy said she is doomed to fail at everything, which is part of the repercussions and consequences for all the pain she has caused people and all the destruction she has created around her.

Nancy says Liv knows the Universe is punishing her yet she is still too stupid and stubborn to fix her wrongs and make amends to those she hurt. What more does she need to lose -- she lost any chance at Hollywood, she no longer acts, she will never get cast in anything significant, she is still in debt and living at her mom's house....whatver.

I may be back to square one with STATIONS. I am doing a slight revision, to see how it looks....it will eventually be made; I don't know when now.

Things are moving forward positively with MOMMY vs. THE EVIL BANK ROBBERS and FIFTY BUCKS. Working with someone to get ANTARCTICA funded, and I have a new script I started called BECAUSE.

No luck yet in finding a commercial publisher for my biography on Raymond Carver. There are two university presses interested in it, though. Someone will pick it up. I'd like to get an advance, and I mean a good one, so I can take time off to finish it right...we'll see.

McFarland has picked up my Vollmann book, now altered, as well as my monograph on the roles on women in Carver's stories. Might do a book on Wim Wenders with them.

Next two books from Borgo Press will be my short monograph on dirty realism and Bukowski and Carver, and a collection of essays called Auto/ethnograhies - Love, Sex, and Independent Filmmaking, that I am proud of.

Speaking of which, heard from peer reviewers on my auto/ethnography on Tijuana, ZONA NORTE, I have with SDSU Press. The press wants a revision. Hopefully, they will do the book. It is another I am proud of.

End of the Year Stuff

2007-12-23T15:16:00.000-08:00

Since writers live to be accepted (who wnats to be rejected), here are my Christmas acceptances --

1. Book contract from State Univ. of New York Press for The Anthropology of Pornography, to be published in their Postmodern Culture Series. This is an ethnography of sex workers in Los Angeles only, a study of the sub-culture in L.A., as an athropologist would study any culture, partially participant-observer. It starts off with my own experiences as being a cameraman for people like Al Borda, Max Hardcore, Captain Bob, etc., and the people I met, talked with, became friends with,

and then leads to interviews with various people who work as talent and directors in the biz (and what they do outside the biz in real life). The book is not finished and will nneed vetting by peer review, so I don't expect this book to come out until late 2009 or even early 2010.

2. Agreemets with Borgo Press to publish two more collections of erotic stories, the short novel Seven Women (previously only available in a special edition from Bookspan's Venus Book Club) and a collection of essays called Auto/Ethnographies -- Sex, Death, Love, and Independent Filmmaking.

3. Essay, "Like the Portholes in a Jules Verne Submaries - Footnotes in the Novels of Paul Auster, Nicholson Baker, and Mark Z. Danielewski" in the journal Problems in Lietrary Genres from the Univ of Lodz in Poland.

It was accepted the same day that Critqiue turned it down the seconmd time (the revision). I have to change the referncing style for their journal, which uses a British-based style guide.

4. I'll add this as it is most likley going to happen -- talkling with McFarland & Co, about Carver's Women - Role, Place, and Identity of the Feminine in the Short Stories of Raymond Carver. They loved the proposala and just need to see a chapter.

5. Need to revise a review esay on Vollmann's new book, Riding Toward Everywhere, for Modern Language Studies.

Meanwhile, The Watermelon is stll in the last legs of post-production. LightSong Films is trying to get together some quick investor funds to film my campty horror low budget Hardboiled Zoimbie Detective (origianlly pubished in Dybukk Press' Badass Horror as a novella) while dealing with financing, with Hand Picked Films, for Statons. And Debbie is still dealing wth financing for Mommy vs. the Evil Bank Robbers. Right now, I feel very distant and aliented from the whole film financing process and Hollywood in general.

I have set some end of the year goals -- wrap in the Star Trek critical monography by Xmas (or at least New Year's) and have the new novel, The Agent, ready for the agent when NY publishing opens back up for business in January.

Oh -- and the Carver biography is still out there, so with all the New Yorker stuff on Carver lately, will hoepfully have an offer in when things open back up there on the East Coast.

2007-12-14T05:14:00.000-08:00

My 44th published book, a collection of sordid, nasty, literary tales of human interaction, titled How to Have an Affair and Other Instructions, is now available from Wildside Press.

Makes a good Xmas gift! Order today -
http://www.wildsidebooks.com//How-to-Have-an-Affair-and-Other-Instructions-by-Michael-Hemmingson-trade-pb_p_316-2134.html#

Notes from Dec. 1 07

2007-12-01T12:27:00.000-08:00

The Watermelon did not get selected for Sundance. It passed some initial steps, but not the final. The producers are bummed, I think. I am used to rejection and I'd lie if I said it doesn't bother me, but it does just a litte. It was a long shot and they did not submit the best cut -- at least not where the film is at now. There are plenty of other festivals, many, and a great deal of very good movies never got into Sundance -- e.g., Edmond, its first screening was at the Silverlake Film Festival, which is local centric and new.

So now I am waiting to hear from the Sundance Screenwriting Lab and the Sloan regrading Antarctica. I shold know by mid-month.

I have made it to consideration rounds for a Guggenheim Fellowship -- at least, I know they sent out recommendation forms to my agent, Larry McCaffery, LightSong Films and...somewhere else...another long shot but I am mid-career, I beleive, which is what the Guggenheim is for, although a few people have told me that they usually turn you down the first year and give it to you the next time you apply (I think SSI does the same thing).

I have a lot of book ms. and book proposals out there -- my main interest is fidning homes for the Carver biography and Zona Norte.

No new screenplays in my head, or none that I feel an urgent need to write, but I am thinking of going back and rewriting two that I have not been marketing because they have plot problems, Priority Male (rom com) and Fifty Bucks (thriller/crime). Will, the lead in The Watermelon who acted at The Fritz back in 1995, showed Fifty Bucks to a producer he knows at Lakeshore Entertainment -- the guy said he was ready to option it from age one, until he got to page 50 and felt it came apart. We've been trying to set up a meeting for him to give me notes on where he'd like to see the story go, but I have some ideas on how the fix pages 51-110, so may do that.

Priority Male just needs a new Act III. The Act III I have now is kind of like Blazing Saddles, but only Mel Brooks can do mel Brooks.

What else...before the year is up, I will attempt to finish the first draft of the Star Trek critical monograph, finish the last chapter of Judas Payne and turn it into Borgo Press, get the outlines and opening chapters to The Agent (novel) and Now I Know What Happened to Me (auto/ethnography)out there, and manybe have my book of essays ready to go, which is called Promises Made to Heaven...Broken.

Maybe Not

2007-10-31T19:56:00.000-07:00

Wedding Stopper will not be able to be done within the budget originally discussed. Too complicated, and there is a crashing helicoptor. PLUS Jolene decided she didn't like it because it mirrored certain events and people in her life, when I told her last year it was based on certain people and events. I thought she had read it but I guess she didn't, until there was an investor looking at it.

Investor is looking at House of Why, my low key noir thriller with one location -- a beach house, and six characters.

Meanwhile, Stations is in pre-preproduction...

Debating on going to the American Film Market later this week or weekend. I have a press pass. Not sure if I feel like interacting with all these film biz types. A sales rep is showing The Waternelon around there. May head to Tijuana with Kevin...

Speaking of Tijuana, Zona Norte is currently out with Transaction Books, State Univ. of NY Press, Left Coast Press, Pluto Books, and Guide Dog Books. Any one of them would be a fine publisher -- so whover comes back first with a decent offer. Later this week I will probably submit it to Ecco Press, AltaMira Press, and Univ. of California Press.

I am, this week, starting the Star Trek crit book for Wayne State UP, fixing up the Carver bio proposal, and discussing various possible books with SUNY Press, IB Tauris & Co., and Peter Lang, Publisher.

2007-10-26T01:57:00.000-07:00

iscussing with one of the investors of The Watermelon the possibility of shooting this quirky romantic sex comedy of mine, The Wedding Stopper...

Could happen. I will direct it. Already know how to cast it...

#5

2007-10-25T06:32:00.000-07:00

A new, tighter cut of The Watermelon is coming in the mailer, edit #5. The one I have is #2. I am eager to see the new and improved version.

We Are Burning Here In San Diego

2007-10-23T19:31:00.000-07:00

I am by the beach and far from the fires.

I know that Liv Kellgren had to evacuate her house. My parents almost had to, was getting close...

There is a sales rep who wants to shop The Watermelon at the American Film Market, haoppening next week in Santa Monica. She has a good track record and is well-connected. I hve a press pass for AFM but am unsure if I can go -- at least not the whole time.

I have wrapped up a lot of books...

The Dirty Realist Duo - Charles Bukowski and Raymond Carver on the Aesthetics of the Ugly is done and off to Borgo Press for Spring 08 publication.

Zona Norte is done and ready to find a home (there are a couple of prospects).

Promises Made to Heaven...Broken almost done.

To complete the year, I will finish the guitar book for th Tiger Guides, the Star Trek crit book for Wayne State Univ. Press, and...who knows...maybe another screenplay. Always need those to sell.

Need to do some work on the Gordon Lish crit book.

Raymond Carver Bio

2007-10-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

I had toyed with the idea iof writing a bio-pic screenplay on Raymond Carver. I decided to do it as a book first, which my agent in NY is now shopping -- with today's NY Times article about Carver and Lish, there is a buzz in the publishing industry that will last for a few dyas.

It would still make a good movie. I can see Vincent D'onfrio playing Carver.

Easier to View

2007-10-17T12:18:00.000-07:00

The Watermelon trailer is now at YouTube, easier to view...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDimaB95fK0

Next Movies

2007-09-29T04:49:00.000-07:00

Next movies to shoot...

Stations is in pre-production.

Mommy vs. the Evil Bank Robbers is in pre-pre-production.

Liv Kellgren is not involved with either, as well.

Trailer of a Trailer

2007-09-29T04:45:00.000-07:00

A 1-minute trailer for The Watermelon, is online!

We have a working cut that has been submitted to Sundance and is with our sales rep, and will be screening for distributors soon. Overall, it runs 97 minutes.

It is here, at last.

Ready for the Journey

2007-09-24T21:02:00.001-07:00

Last week, I saw a rough cut of The Watermelon and we shot some minor scenes that needed to be dropped in, like Jolene's cameo as the lead's blind date.

I was very pleased by what I saw. My opinion is biased, of course, but I think we have a good movie here.

As I watched, all I could think of was the past...remembering how this script...such as the night I came up with the idea, in Encinitas, at Liv Kellgren's house. We are walking to the bar on Highyway 101, three blocks away. I talked about the idea at the bar. Liv just smiled, probably thinking I would never write it. I was in her bed that night, her dog Mimi at our feet, her daughter at her ex-husband's house; I couldn't sleep, I could only think of this script, this movie...

I remembered sitting on the floor, at 3 a.m, mid-April 2005, franticlly finishing the script so I could give it to Liv at the airpor, before she went to Las Vegas and I went to Seattle to teach at a writing conference. I wanted to show her, prove to her, I could write a screenplay, one that would start our carers as independent filmmakers.

I remembered showing it around Los Angeles, having no idea how I would sell it or get it made. Several actors and low-levels producers said they loved it. A major studio producer had coverage done on it; the report said, "Wonderful writing, but no commercial potential."

I remembered optioning it to LightSong Filsm, alone, now that Liv and I were not speaking. I had no one to celebrate with. What was there to celebrate, anyway...

I remembered all the ups and down, the crazy people who came into the project and made a mess of things,. the investor who backed out, the woukd-be players who b.s.'ed us. It was supposed to have started shooting January 2007, but it was July 9, 2007 when first day of shooting began.

This morning, I was informed that a suitable rough cut was ready to make the deadlin for the Sundance Film Festival.

I though, Finally, here we go.

Two years.

And the journey has only started. The biggest hurdle was hurdled -- the film was shot. Now we have to show t, sell it, find an audience, maybe make some money.

There is still a long road ahead on this...

I began this blog fifteen months ago. It is a curious thing to go back and read the entries. I see the patterns. I see what worked, and what was broken. I wish I had the answers but now I have more questions.

Full Circle

2007-07-24T15:58:00.000-07:00

It is now time for this blog to come full circle, in a way.

When I began it, in April 2006 last year, I ranted about trying to find homes for screenplays, and how Liv Kellgren (of Encinitas, Calif. and MOXIE Theatre, for search engine purposes) was supposed to help me and stand by my side on this adventure for a career change, to benefit both our lives...and how she ultimately took a huge CRAP on our plans, by lying to me, breaking several major promises, and betraying my trust.

The first project was The Watermelon. Looking over the course of this blog, I chronicled meeting several producers who wanted to get it started but were unable to, then I met Brad and Lori of LightSong Films...there was a six-month delay, funding issues, and some bad apples connected to the film, but it has been shooting this month in L.A. and is 75% done. From what I have seen, it looks very good.

So, that script that I wrote for Liv Kellgren, that script she abandoned out of stupidity and selfishness, that script I sat up to the wee hours to finish, on my floor, and rushed to the airport to give to her before she went to Vegas for a business thing for the Western School of Feng Shui, that project I wrote for us to both use as a way into the indie film world, has become my entry in the indie film world, alone.

LightSong was gonna use her trailer, the original watermelon trailer, as the main prop, and she, to my surprise, agreed and made a deal with them. I supposed she didn't want to burn any bridges in L.A., because you never know who may be in the position to help you in the future...but this would also be a way for her to get that hunk of junk off her mother's property. The only part of the deal I didn't like was that Brad would have to shoot of MOXIE Theatre play...meaning he'd have to come down and give them a PBS-quality shoot of some show...I didn't want my fi;m, or anyone connected to it, helping that theater company out in any way shape or form. Why? Because Liv's cohorts stuck their noses in my business. They had to pry and get info about what was happening between me and Liv, and give her bad advice, and backstab me. Now, of course, their shows have lost a great deal of money, they've gotten some bad reviews, and they're not as hot as their egos thought, and I doubt the company will last another season.

But Liv's trailer was too big and cumbersome to haul up to L.A. and store, so in the end they went with a 13 foot smaller trailer, which worked out just fine. I am sure Liv was pissed. But now she could not hold the trailer over on my film, like denying it. Now I could rub it in her nose that I was making a real movie and she was not.

And boy did I rub it in. I know it was being childish and vindictive, but I felt justified that I was getting what she always dreamt of and she was getting nothing, trapped in her life, not getting cast, stuck working 9-to-5 and turning 34 with no accomplishments in her life.

There is more now:

The family action/comedy we wrote in summer 2005, Mommy vs. the Evil Bank Robbers, is going to get made. at least, it is damn close to finalizing a deal. This is the cloest it has come. It is in a different version now, rewritten with my biz partner Debbie, with Liv relegated to a "story by" co-credit, which I may remove.

One would think, that with these scripts now going places, Liv would be smart and get back on board -- but doing so would mean she has to make amends, and she has to apologize for ling to me and breaking two major promises, and God knows that would never show humility and say she is sorry, and admit she was wrong. She is incapable of admitting she is wrong. She has always been so above everyone around her that she doesn't feel she ever has to apologize for hurting other people.

Everyone in L.A. that I have talked to her about agrees she is pretty dumb -- I mean, the woman dreams all her life about making movies, doesn't have a SAG or AFTRA card, has never gotten near to doing it...and then when it happens, she doesn't make the right move to fix things and get back on track?

Part of it was, I know she never thought this would happen, that these scripts would be made. She is used to failure and dreams never realized. I told her time and again, no book I write or play ever goes unpublished or unproduced -- some find homes right away, some take 1-3 years. I told her this would be the same for the screenplays: it wold take a while, it was not gonna happen tomorrow, it would take hard work and drive and tenacity, but it would happen. She did not believe in me, the work, or the dream. So, in knowing only failure all her life, and being afraid of success, she left herself behind, and she wound up in a pool of failure.

I left messages with her that it may not be too late, she could come back on board, she could experience this, just fix your wrongs, make amends, pick up where you left off, get back on the right track...and did she do the right thing? Liv Kellgren, doing te right thing? The Universe would probably explode if she ever did the right thing.

So, as the movie was shooting, I found myself sad, and melancholy, and then I was angry -- I was pissed because she had left me to experience the joy of my first movie alone. I had no one to share this with, no one of true significance, like a soul mate or partner -- in that she inspired the script, I wrote it for her out of love so she could be a film actress, because I wanted her to be happy, and then she betrayed me...we were suppose to share this wonderful experience together, and now that I was left alone, the expereince lost its value...this was supposed to be like my first novel or play, something wonderful...

Perhaps I can find a way for it to be, yet. It's not done, it's not edited, thhere is still along road ahead -- screenings, festivals, selling it...and if it does get distribution, will it be just DVD/cable, or will it get some theater time...nd how well will it do...what kind of reviews will it get...what kind of doors will it open for me...

I have decided to let Brad direct Stations, the next project, becuse it is a tough one, on a moving train. This is contigent that he keeps Jolene in the lead role, as planned. Yes, she is unknown, but people have to start somewhere, and this movie will make her an overnight indie star darling, and set her on her path, and my job to help her will be complete, she can go off on her career, have a family, an d I will have fulfilled my karmic duty to her and her future kid. Also, for a number of reasons, I am uncertain I could direct her objectively. She and the project will be in good hands. I am wondering about taking on roles as director and producer anyway -- I think I am best off just being a writer, for now.

So, Staations should shoot in January, that is the plan, a year overdue but that's Hollywood for you.

I don't know what will be next. I have half a dozen other scripts to place, another one I wrote with Liv, How to Win a Diamond Ring, and one that needs a major rewrite, The Next Wedding. Somehow I know that even if they get made, Liv Kellgren will still be too stupid to do the right thing.

What a waste of a human being, she had so mujch promise, she could have had it all, and now it is too late, I'm afraid. She really screwed her chances up.

So it goes.

New Projects

2007-05-24T22:25:00.000-07:00

I have two projects submitted the Sundance Screenwriter's Lab (last year I came fairly close to getting in with Many Blessings). Both are collaborations:

1. To Hell with Heaven is a WWII flick based on the life of Gunny Sgt. Johnny Basilone. He's a Marine icon. Surprised there has neve been a bio pic. This isn't really a bio ic, and is only looselyt based on him. This one is with Sean, a hopeful producer in L.A.

2. Antarctica. This one is set in a science station in the South Pole, a charcter dramedy about how these folks deal with Winter months, trapped inside the station, losing their minds. This one is with Will, the lead actor in The Watermelon.

I don't normally collaborate with men on writing projects -- or anyone really. But making movies is such an acoss-the-board collaborative medium. The only person I've co-written screenplays with is Liv Kellgren, but that's no more.

I have two short screenplays over at Duke City Shootout, "Valerie" and "Asa and Andi." "Valerie" is a one-woman movie, where the camera is the POV of the man she has a two year relationship with. In a matter of ten-twelve minutes, we see various scenes, from first date, second date, first fuck, living together, pregnancy, miscarriage, jealousy, fights, breaking up, and having coffee together years later, when POV is engaged to another woman and Valerie has gone through some tragic events, always wondering what her life would have been like had she not broken up with this guy. "Asa and Andi" is about two friends in the 30s who decide to have a baby because they are getting older and their bio-clocks are ticking...now, this little script is supposedly to be made by a fellow in L.A., there has been a lot of back and forth and rewriting and discussion about shooting it on 35 mm film, but nothing has happened yet, so I am showing the script around again...

I don't have any plans to write any more screenplays than finishing the two mentioned above. I have enough screenplays written that I am trying to sell, place or produce.

I'm back to working on my books.

2007-05-05T17:13:00.000-07:00

After a few bumps and delays (3 months worth) everything seems to be running well with The Watermelon and shooting should begin within weeks, or in July. The producers tell me a rough cut is expected by Sept. 1.

Even Liv has been cooperative, with the use of the trailer, now that she has her assoc. producer credit on IMDB and Hollywood Reporter and such.

The Art of the One Act

2007-05-05T04:40:00.000-07:00

At long last, I received copies of The Art of the One Act, an anthology that contains my play "Milk."

This book has been three years in the making, maybe more. It is massive, pricey ($35) and beautifully printed and designed. It is also a weird connection to my other writerly side, as a playwright.

I wrote this one-act back in 1999 for the San Diego Actors Alliance Festival...Lissa was to be in it but she felt uncomfortable because the female lead was based on Christine, my ex- and her friend, and she didn't feel good "playing" her friend.

It later went on to Moving Arts in LA for their 2000 festival at the LA Theater Scenter. They did an excellent job, different from mine. It has been produced in a few other festivals, and once again in San Diego, in a production where Liv, yes Liv!, played the female lead...how curious to have her "play" Christine, and how odd that now, in many ways, Liv and Christine are the same (both seeking meaning and truth in spiritual matters and blaming the men in their life for all their problems).

IMDB

2007-05-02T11:37:00.000-07:00

The Watermelon.

Update

2007-05-01T19:12:00.000-07:00

Well, haven't updated in a while...

Things still in the air over The Watermelon. Daily, weekly changes, ups and downs, cast changes, producing changes, location changes, but seems it is getting closer to shoot, maybe June. I guess this is all par for the course, and it is really out of my hands -- casting choices, locations and what not, since I am but the mere writer. ;)

Stations is delayed to, to Oct. I think. One of the invetsors has had financial problems and may or may not be able to come in, and the Exec Producers won't put anything up until I meet the first half of the budget. So am checking into other avenues.

So why did I want to get into this film biz?

The Dress is still in development in NY, I believe, and LFTV has many of our porjects out there...

Right now I have been focused on getting back to my books, which I have neglected the past year. I don't have a single title out for 2007, which is weird...after 8 years of publishing 3-5 books a year, to have a dry year feels wrong...

The short films have been going well.

Well...

2006-12-24T15:42:00.000-08:00

Obviously I have not been keeping up with this blog...

Been in L.A. a lot, almost every week. Haven't moved up yet, but soon.

Some delays on The Watermelon, with financing not in place. Instead of shooting next month, it may be March. But the director/producer plans on shooting the "TV stuff" next month (stuff the charactersare watching on TV, which can double as short films and DVD extras stuff later).

Stations may shoot first. It's all up in the air. The financing for that project could very well be settled first. Jolene is eager to get started, and so am I.

Funny thing with Stations, it was a finalist for the Westwood International Film Festival...and they never told me. Not an email, not a phone call. I happened upon the listing via Google. I didn't win, but still...I would have liked to have gone...I called and emailed the festival and they never replied. My PR person knows them and called and they'rejust disorganized, it seems.

Speaking of not winning, I made semi-finalsit for the Slamdance/Fox 21 thing, but didn't make Top 3. WHich is okay. I stole some of their tequila as a consolation prize. Met some interesting people, including some improv comedian/Adrian Brody lookalike who tried to pick up on Jolene. The execs at Fox21 felt my pilot, "Blogger" would make a better movie than TV show, and they could be right...

I have EPs for both films -- very big ones, big names in Hollywood, they're not putting any upfront cash in, they are letting us use their name for better Hollywood street cred, and will handle selling the foreign distribution. My PR person also pitched them an idea for a new division for indie films...too many details...could happen,could not...

But I will be part of a new production company soon, with lots of funding...said funding in a holding pattern which is why I haven't moved yet.

My short film "The Aliens" is edited and ready, and being submitted to festivals.

A short film contest I am partially involved with finally chose a winner. There were many delays, months of delays...too many things...the winning script is marvelous. I may even direct it.

What new specs have I written since last update? Hmmm...

Fifty Bucks -- a thriller we're trying to get Bruce Willis attached to (or someone like that)

Hardboiled Zombie Detective -- campy tale based on a novella of mine in the anthology, Bad Ass Horror.

The Wedding Stoppers -- quirky romantic comedy.

What else? What else? Lots of meetings, lots of strippers, lots of loss.

Updates

2006-10-05T11:30:00.000-07:00

Man, long time no post.

What's new? The Watermelon is going along great, seems to be on shcedule to shoot around Jan. 11. Notices are in Hollywood Reporter, Variety, etc., and we should be up on IMDB soon. Half the parts are cast, we have a great PR person working on additional financing and getting it into festivals.

The option for my novel The Dress is complete and they are working on the script version right now.

A couple of TV development deals that I will talk about later...

Working on financing for Stations, that I hope to shoot in April or May.

Crossed paths with a guy who read my second book, a collection of stories, yeras ago, and is in the biz, and wants to work on some movies. More on that later...

All overdue novels are now in. I have one deadline left, for the Vollmann crit ook, which I plan to meet this month.

Gearing up to move to L.A. in a few months, hopefully sooner, depending on the finances and a few other factors.

TV Land

2006-08-21T19:42:00.000-07:00

Know someone (a comic book publisher that I am working with on a TV series pitch and maybe some other stuff) who is working with someone who is good friends with the CEO of the new CW Network, and she's going to try and get me a meeting with this CEO to pitch shows. Producer T. told me to usehis name and company as a prodco that would be attached, and as they are BIG that would help.

Producer T. is also working on getting us a meeting at the new MyNetWork TV for a telenovela soap I have in mind -- 13 weeks, five shows a week is this new network's format.

The pitch meet at 247TV has been moved to October; they are swamped and moving to bigger offices.

There are upcoming picth meetings at TNT, Spike, Showtime and FX, so things are moving along.

No one is saying "yes" yet.

The Date

2006-08-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

Not sure what's going on with Lifetime and The Date. I know there were some focus group stuff done by the prodco with the multi-picture deal, and now the Director of Development tells me he left the company but details should be coming to me soon....

Short Plays

2006-08-20T10:59:00.000-07:00

Wrote two short plays last week. Haven't written any plays in a while. One is a Christmas play that runs about ten minutes and another is a one woman show, "Tell it to the Coconuts," that runs about half an hour -- the start of what should be a workshop script to expand on and make an hour, hour ten show someday.

It's an idea I've had for over a year and tinkered with, a show I wrote for Liv to do, we tossed around a lot of ideas and how to make it so she could go on the road or perform it, really, anywhere, with a few props and a drop. I was going to have it ready for her birthday in April, before the shit went down.

Now I just felt like finishing it. I sent it to Lovecreek in NY and the Mae West Fest in Seattle...but I really need to find the right actress to work on it with.

Years ago, I did this with Beth Bayless with a one-woman show I wrote in a night called "Big Hairy Dog." I wrote it as an off night show for The Fritz and it did very well, she even performed it at our fundraisers and elsewhere, and then the Mae West Fest did it, it was published by S&K, picked up at other theaters, and she got pissed about it.

What else? Oh yeah, my 10-min. play "Alaska" will be in the North Park Playwright's Fest. I wrote it for this thing last Nov. called "Instant Theater" (write, direct and mount a play in 24 hours) but, like the 48 Hour Film Fest, you can't come up with anything spectacular in that time frame...I since revised it and we'll see if it is any better.

Updates

2006-08-11T03:16:00.000-07:00

Let's see...

Two short films shooting soon: "Asa and Andi" in L.A. and "The Aliens" in New York. I am eager to see the final product(s).

Was contacted by a filmmaker in NY about the movie rights to my novel, THE DRESS (Blue Moon, 2002).

In discussions with various people about the future of various scripts.

Watermelon Director Blogs About Script

2006-08-11T03:15:00.000-07:00

http://www.bradmays.com/blog.html

Horror movie

2006-07-02T16:13:00.000-07:00

Wrote a horror movie with my old friend, Brandon Riker, called End of the Line.

Well, co-write the story line, I wrote the script...aside from the stuff with Liv Kellgren, this is the only other collaborative project that is a completed script. The process was different.

As always, collaborating gets you out of your head, adding in the head stuff of another person to make somethinfg "different."

End of the Line is pure grindhouse: slasher violence, NC-17 sex, dirty jokes, racial stereotypes.

"But is it Pultizer prize stuff?" Brandon asked when he was drunk.

"It's fucking mindless entertainment," I told him.

We have it at three horror oriented festivals, a couple of managers and three production companies.

One Reality Show Down, Four To Go

2006-07-02T16:10:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, got a call from prodco handling my reality shows that they have an interested party in one of them: a very large, multi-national TV packager behind shows like "Fear Factor" and "Big Brother."

I have to start from sqaure one on the pitch, get new attachments, and write a ntypical sample episiode.

No sale, more work, but an interested buyer...so back to work I go...acting more like prospective producer now.

Indie Movie

2006-07-02T16:07:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, met with the producers of The Watermelon at Aroma Cafe in studio City (a place where much business is done)and we ironed out some details.

The movie should be cast and reherasing by December, with a projected January shoot date. Things always happen and we may start in February, but the option will have a May cut-off date.

Six weeks of shooting, three months of editing...and then it may be ready to show.

Well...

2006-06-22T14:18:00.000-07:00

I didn't get into The Duke City Shootout or win at the Boston Film Fest. You get some, you lose some. There's plenty of other things going on right now...

Okay!

2006-06-22T14:16:00.000-07:00

Seems I have producers for The Watermelon now. It will be a low-budget SAG Indie project, but they are serious about it, know what they're doing, and have their own equipment and editing studio. I'm meeting with them in L.A. this Saturday to iron out the details. We should start shooting by February...

One of the producers contacted Liv about the trailer prop, and I'm surprised she was cooperative and will let us use it.

Reality

2006-06-11T23:34:00.000-07:00

Finally got the agreement from the prodoco with my reality show presentations. Signed it and we're good to go...time to shop the concepts around Tinsel Town.

The good thing about the delay is that they were in many meetings for other reality shows they've set up, so they are selling the stuff.

"Next Week"

2006-06-08T01:47:00.000-07:00

June feels like it is going to be the month of The Wait.

Duke City Shootout has extended is announcement time from the 7th to the 15th. This happens a lot. Next they'll say the 22nd.

I should know next week about Boston. They haven't asked yet if I was going to attend (the Festival started today). A woman (an attorney in New Jersey) I met at the Beverly Hills Film Fest, who also has a screenplay at Boston, asked me, if she won, to accept on her behalf because she can't go -- funny, I was going to ask her the same!

The company taking my reality show ideas out has yet to get me the agreement from their lawyer and take the shows out...they keep saying, "Next week." This is becoming a pattern for them, and other producers I have been working with. "Next week." It'll be "next week" for months before anything gets done.

Worked with certain producer on the two crime drama pilot pitches and he has them. Send him a third one I came up with last week. "Last week."

Still waiting about the Liftetime deal. It's been "next week" on that one for five months.

The TV Fellowship Thing

2006-05-31T03:51:00.000-07:00

Sent off all my application materials to the Disney/ABC Fellowship today, after months of thinking about it and debating if I should apply for TV or Film. I went for TV.

So I have my fellowship applications in there, NBC, CBS and Nickelodeon. Next, to work on the one for Fox. They want an original "diverse" pilot this year. I have the pilot. I just need to get a recommendation letter.

...

2006-05-31T03:48:00.000-07:00

Have crossed paths with two other producers interested in The Watermelon. They have cameras, edited stuff, all the eqiupment and actor connects to do it. But I wouldn't direct.

I need to wait to hear from the Boston Film Fest before making a decision.

Duke City Shootout

2006-05-28T23:54:00.000-07:00

I have two short screenplays at The Duke City Shootout. This looks like a really great film festival, and an exprience and a half: you have seven days you shoot, edit and present a short film. They pay for everything, seven writer/directors will be chosen.

I'm cocky enough to believe that one of those two scripts will be chosen. I'll know in two weeks.

Would be good to get away for a week in July anyway, as it is my birthday, and I am turning the Big Four Oh.

Am I really that old?

Is this when life begins?

Change of Plan

2006-05-28T19:08:00.000-07:00

The ABC/Disney Fellowship accepts 15 people each year. I just noticed it's like 11 TV writers and 4 feature writers. And most of their alumni seem to be working in TV.

I've decided to apply with the second My Name is Earl spec I have, rather than a feature. The spec so far has gotten me a few meetings, placed in Present-a-Thon, and one cable channel exec in NY told me he thought it was funnier than the shows aired.

I was working on an adaptation of my novel, The Rose of Heaven, but my heart isn't in it and I'm back to working on some novels. I have too many specs now -- or enough. I have to focus on selling them instead of writing more.

Besides, I'm aiming more at TV right now than features.

So...let's see if Earl and his karma does it for me at ABC. I have this spec over at Austin, CBS and NBC Diversity Programs and Scriptapalooza TV as well.

More Real!

2006-05-25T16:19:00.000-07:00

The small prodco that is taking out my reality show idea to buyers next week has picked up another one, that I wrote up last night but has been in my head for a few years. They said I had a gift for these concepts and to keep coming up with them, I could make decent money just selling off the concepts to other companies or cable nets and pull in some creator revenue on syndications and reruns.

Reality Show

2006-05-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

A prodco in Burbank is taking a reality show concept of mine out next week. I have to whittle my five-page prospectus down to a one page pitch.

More on this later as it develops.

The Small World of Film Festivals

2006-05-21T16:00:00.000-07:00

I made a few friends at the Beverly Hills Film Festival -- directors, actors, and even writers. Seems two screenwriters that were there are also on the finalist list with me at the Bostom Int'l Film Fest. The festival world is getting small and in-crowdish, I see. Also on the list are one or two professional contest winners, like this woman Susan Klos and her script, Voices. We've been on a few lists together, and this script of hers has had many wins and placements over the past two years...but still no production? Sale? This makes me wonder if these contests are worth it.

More on The Watermelon

2006-05-15T23:21:00.000-07:00

It's official, The Watermelon is a finalist here at the Boston International Film Festival.

There are 29 finalists, including a few names I see on the contest circuit all the time (professional screenplay contest winners -- with many wins and places but never any productions). At least four projects will be chosen to be financed and produced -- one feature, one short, one feature documentary and one short doc.

I had a meeting with another eager producer in L.A. yesterday about this screenplay. He's worked at a lot of prodcos, unlike others I meet. He seems to know what's what. He has three projects he wants to get off the ground, one being The Watermelon.

Now let's see what happens from here...

Specs

2006-05-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

A good blog to read is Sal Callero's Let Me In. He's in the ABC/Disney Fellowship program, so it's interesting to read about his progress...even going back to the the beginning of his blog as he set out to be a TV writer. It's similar to what I am doing with this blog: make a chronicle of my journey.

An interesting thing to note is that Sal got into the Fellowship with his spec for The Shield. The same spec got him a semi-final placement at Script Spectacular...but he didn't make finals or win. I also had a semi-final at the same time, with an original pilot, no finalist or winner, but it has gotten me a few meetings. And we hear nothing about most of the winners. What does this say about the nature of contests? It's all very subjective.

It makes me wonder if these contests are worth entering. Most of the working writers in L.A. have never entered them, unless they're the top five...and most of the agents and producers I have talked to aren't impressed with any contest unless they are the top 5 (Nicholl, Slamdance, etc.).

Meanwhile, I can't get into working on prose. I have three novels due, one publisher breathing down my neck, and all I feel like writing, right now, are feature and TV specs.

This could be my downfall.

Updates

2006-05-09T18:30:00.000-07:00

Still waiting to hear from the producer with the Lifetime deal on The Date. I know they want the whole thid act re-done, but don't know if an actual deal will go through before or after the re-write.

Got two assignements for a VH-1 show. More on that later after I sign something...and I need to ask them if I can write about it on a public blog.

Need to go over Mommy vs. the Evil Bank Robbers again tonight before showing it to prodco that wants to package it.

Meeting with a possible producer for The Watermelon on Sunday in Beverly Hills. A few meetings on Monday, then will head back home.

Two semi-final placements at writesafe.com. The pilot for "Commercail Break" and my spec for "My Name is Earl." The contest doesn't hold much prestige other than public notice and a few nifty prizes, but at least the works are being noticed somewhere, which is better than the zillions of specs out there that no one reads or acknowledges.

The Watermelon

2006-05-09T11:14:00.000-07:00

I wrote a screenplay called The Watermelon as a vehicle for me and Liv Kellgren to jump into indie filmmaking. But now Liv has chosen not to be a part of the process. It's a charcter piece, intentionally written to be done in the $100K-$500K range, depending on what kind of actors I get -- the idea was to have mostly San Diego locals and one or three semi-known SAG actors from L.A.

It's gotten attention -- some finalist placements in contests and film festivals, reads from people I find on Craigslist or other websites where low budget directors and producer spost looking for scripts. I mainly wanted people's reactions since I intend to direct and probably produce this myself. All respnses have been good and have had a number of meetings with people who want to produce or direct it or be a aprrt of it, but none of them have money, or the money people they know fall through...I have one excited guy who keeps calling every three months to ask if it is still available and promising me he will find the financing (right).

My aim right now is to have the movie ready for Sundance 2008, or 2009...as I know these things take time.

BIFF

2006-04-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

Boston International Film Festival called today about The Watermelon. More news by May 15.

Right now

2006-04-22T05:28:00.000-07:00

I have applied to the TV fellowships at CBS, NBC and Nickelodeon. I'm going to apply to ABC/Disney but still not sure if I should go for TV or film (they won't let you apply for both).

This weekend I am hoping to wrap up re-writes on Mommy vs. the Evil Bank Robbers for a prodco that wants to package it and send it around to the studios, as well as complete my CSI: Miami spec.

Difficult as I am directing a David Mamet play that opens in a week and I have one cast member who is sick and another who had to fly to Vegas because her dad went into surgery. I have late royalty checks from the U.K. and another Delivery check very late that my agent is trying to track down, so money is tight again until those come in (the woes of being a freelancer: the checks are NEVER on time). So it's gonna be a crazy week.

May

2006-04-21T18:00:00.000-07:00

I have a number of significant meetings in May, with showrunners and execs...I'm geared up, excited, worried...but it'll all prove to be educational and fun.

Left Behind

2006-04-21T17:32:00.000-07:00

I've had to remove Liv's name off the three screenplays and one TV pilot. She made the choice for this to happen.

I cannot allow her to be a part of this, to benefit, to experience the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and whatever the path may lead to. Not after what she did to me.

Not after all her lies, broken/failed promises and the betrayal of my trust (she showed some private emails between us to her nosey "friends").

All of them are registered under my name with WGAw and copyrights are with my company, The Alien Stage Project.

I told her if/when these projects sell/get set up, I would put 1/3 of the money into her daughter's college bank account, and I will keep my word on that. 1/3 is more than the 10% of work/time/money she put into the projects.

But I'm a bit worried -- there's a potential, down the line (2-5 years from now)that 1/3 of all could amount to a significant anmount of money, more than her kid will need for college, and that Liv will dip into, steal, her child's money to pay off her debts and car and whatever...I cannot allow that to ever happen.

Liv cannot receive a dime, a penny, anything from this.

I may have to set up a separate trust account...unless I can be assured that Liv will never touch the money in the other account.

All of this is hypothetical right now, and dreaming...but I know for a fact these projects will eventually sell, just as I wind up eventually selling all my novels and short stories...they ALWAYS sell at one point or another...

Always.

The Date

2006-04-21T16:15:00.000-07:00

My two-hour MOW, The Date, is a semi-finalist at aTalentScout's Spring 2006 TV Writing Contest.

It's run by writemovies.com. I'm not sure if this place is up and up or what. I was a finalist in their last movie contest, and won the Dec. 2005 A/Expsosure Award for a screenplay, Stations. What did I get? A copy of Final Draft that I sold on eBay and a meeting with a cool former studio exec (some big movies under his belt) now indie producer who gave me some good advice.

Anyway, The Date. I submitted four to this contest -- this MOW, two original pilots and a spec for My Name Is Earl -- and only this one made it this far.

Funny thing is -- a certain producer sent this to Lifetime and Oxygen, Oxygen turned it down, no word from Lifetime and he lost interest in it for other stuff...now I have another producer with five Lifetime slots who is interetsed but wants Act III re-done.

Let's see what happens to this one down the line...

Introduction (Long Rant)

2006-04-21T13:31:00.000-07:00

What's in a blog? I maintain a couple -- at Livejournal I just rant and muse and post things public and private; ar RagingDad.com I post in mind with Google Ad Sense to make a few bucks (and few it is).

I decided to create this blog about my conscious career change the past year; my progress, my successes and failures, what I learn on the journey, the mistakes I make, the people I meet, my fuck-ups, my do-goods, and whether or not this will all work.

Because I am making a dangerous career change attempt that could either ruin me financially and spiritually or put me somewhere I never dreamed of before.

Whether or not this blog picks up an audience doesn't matter. This is more for myself. Two, five years from now I want to track my progress by looking back.

This is also a public blog so I have to watch what I say and make sure something doesn't come back to bite me on the ass three years from now (as has happened with my other blogs and Usenet postings of yesteryear -- a lesson to be learned).

I'm a professional writer; I have been for at least 10 years. What does that mean? I've managed to make a living out of it. I've been a writer all my life (I'm 39), but for the past 10 years writing has paid my rent and bills, and any "jobs" I've had in between have been writing, or editing, related. I have published 37 books so far (run my name on amazon.com or bn.com), with a dozen more contracted and on the way, and sell freelance journalism and write for the local weekly. I've run two theater companies in San Diego and still direct a play now and then.

Over the years I have dabbled in film and TV writing -- fixing dialogue for a local show in its early incarnation (uncredted work-for-hire, more like editing), had an agent in 1996 who sent a X-Files spec around but never got any meetings, penned the occasional flawed feature spec that saw in "the drawer", optioned two of my novels (never developed)...but I never took it seriously. I was more focused on the books and publishing them.

Last year, Valentine's Day 2005 to be exact, I was having drinks with an actress friend, someone I'd recently reconnected with after two years, Liv Kellgren. I had some feelings for her and was still trying to determine if she was the One a certain psychic had told me about a year or so before ("someone you know from your past"). She had acted in three of my plays the past few years and while I always found her very attractive (5'10" blonde), she scared me because she was often abrasive, insulting and even a tad bit crazy (soon I was to find out she was medically imbalanced and on anti-depressants).

I was feeling a great connection with her that night and she was acting melancholy about her stagnant stage acting career, so I asked, "What is it you REALLY want to do?"

She said, "To be an actress in indie films. That's my greatest dream."

Over the next month, I thought about this. It's what I wanted too -- I wanted to write indie films, even direct them. Since it is a "do-it-yourself" type of field, I knew I had to seriously sit down and write a screenplay; one that I could direct and she could act in, or help me write -- something we could both use as a springboard to realize our "impossible dreams."

I also knew that if I wanted to break into film/tv, I had to do it now. I had to get my shit together. I was/am nearing age 40, dangerous in a writing field where most newcomers are 25-30 and most of the people running TV shows and film studios are my age and have paid their dues. (I also learned that all these producers and execs weren't impressed with how many books I've published at my age, only if I could write in TV or film format and if I had the rights on any of my books.)

I knew I had to go into overdrive...and write my ass off...and fast...

So I wrote a screenplay called The Watermelon in April 2005. It had many flaws but is now in good shape and close to ready. I've had a number of small producers and directors interetsed in it, had some "meetings," and there's one guy, ambitious but green, who really wants to do it, and we'll be shooting a trailer for it soon, to help try and get investors. I think we can shoot this indie for $150,000...

Liv was going to be in it, but not anymore. She has chosen not pursue this career path with me. In fact, we have co-written three screenplays and one TV pilot -- I should quote "co-written" because she doesn't really operate as a true co-writer. She has a plethora of ideas -- some silly, some outlandish, some dull, some absolutely brilliant (like any creative person) -- but she has no idea how to shape them into form: whether it's a treatment, a script, a story or a novel. What she does or did with the scripts is enchance some of the dialogue (especially the women) and suggest scenes or plot/character arcs. I have done 90% of most of the writing, sweating, printing, buying supplies, making calls, and mailing the stuff out, while she sits back and says, "So have we sold anything yet?"

Her skewed vew of the business was one I had, at first...took me a while, and a lot of painful mistakes, to realize that this is a slow, slow, slow business...and it could take two-to-five years for anything significant to happen. While I put my dues in publishing books, I now am putting my dues in with TV/film/Hollywood.

But now I have to do it alone.

Liv failed me. She didn't go to several key meetings (esp. one at Sony TV, and at CAA) and I was aksed where my writing partner was and the people asking seemed insulted and baffled why she didn't make it. Where was she? Working her job, watching her kid, going to a wedding, doing box office at her theater, taking her pills, drinking herself to sleep, anything and everything that kept her away from moving to the next step and grabbing her dreams.

Which is what she has done all her life. She's 33 years old and her best claim to fame is a local bailsbond commercial that aired for three or more years during late night reruns of Star Trek and the X-Files. She's done a few plays, but not many. She regrets not having gone to Los Angeles and pursued a career when she was younger, but she got pregnant and married at 21, divorced, and ignorantly agreed to a custody agreement that doesn't allow her to move from San Diego (I keep telling her to take her ex- to court and have that agreement changed, but she won't do it out of fear).

I intend to move to L.A. (I've lived there twice, but not with a TV/film writing career in mind) this year, an eye toward October but my final deadline is Spring 2007. I asked her to come with me, if we were going to do the writing partner thing right; she hemmed and hawwed and said she couldn't. There's her job, there's her mom's house she lives in rent free, there's her chld and the custody agreement, there's her theater company, and there's her fear.

Mostly it's fear. She's afraid of change (she's a Taurus, so this is natural) and most of all -- and I only realized this recently -- she's afraid of success. I've known many people who are and I didn't think this was the case with her, but the signs were all there: she has sabotaged many opportunities for herself the past 10 years, she dressed horribly (like a street person) for a meeting with a producer in Beverly Hills, she didn't stay in L.A. one day when there was a chance to go to the house of a certain Very Big Director -- it wasn't for sure, but she didn't stay and get to meet him, something any aspiring actress would die to get a chance at...plus, she missed two meetings with another Big Producer who wound up casting my friend's roommate (a screenwriter/actreess) in a last-mnute replacement role in a big budget horror flick being shot in New Orleans, a part Liv would have been perfect for but the friend's roommate was also perfect for -- not that Liv WOULD have beee cast, but she COULD HAVE, she intentioally missed opportunities to get to know this producer and let him know she would be interested in any parts in his movies...

But even if she were offered the part, she would have screwed it up somehow, as she always does -- a seminar or running box office would have gotten in the way, as something always gets in the way (or "comes up") of her career goals.

Do I seem harsh? Yes. Mean? Maybe. I'm being honest -- if you knew how many times this woman has messed up her life with bad and wrong choices, you'd toss your hands up in the air and declare: "LOSER!" Because she makes the same mistakes over and over and never learns..or fails to see th future repercussions before making a bad choice.

I wanted to help her, so this is why I put her name as co-writer on the scripts, even though she has only done 10% of the work. I was still willing to give her 50% of everything, for a number of reasons: (1) she's in great debt and may never get out; (2) her Mom pays her rent; (3) she can't provide her child a real home or family and neglects her child a lot; (4) her acting career is going nowhere and her theater company is small and has no actual future, like most small theater companies; (5) she's too old to break in as an acterss now, so the writing side would be a good way to get into the movies biz...

and (6) I wanted us to be full partners and have a family...I wanted to do all of this for all of us, for what I felt was the greater good.

But she's afraid of that too.

So now I have to do this alone.

I gave her a choice: We do this the right way, as 100% partners, nor not at all.

She chose to stay behind.

I was afraid to go on this journey alone because it would mean a lot of sacrifice, it would be a gamble, I could win or lose...and I'd need help. Everyone needs help. This is not a solo biz, like book publishing -- then again, I needed help there too: from family, my agent, my editors, girlfriends I lived with...no writer can truly make his/her way alone.

Having a writing partner changes one's solo scripts -- a new voice is added, new vision seen, different perspectives and sensibilities. I enjoyed Liv's contributions: some were on the money, some were off the mark. The scripts I write alone are dark, dramatic, violent, sexual...the scripts with Liv are light, commercial, with happy endings:

Mommy vs. the Evil Bank Robbers -- family action adventure.
The Next Wedding -- romantic comedy with some dark overtones.
How to Win a Diamond Ring -- romantic comedy with some absurdist overtones.

We've had mixed reponses so far, some meetings, many reads, the first two were finalsits at the Beverly Hills Film Festival. Diamond Ring may be packaged, as well as Mommy after I turn in a compelte overhaul rewrite, and Next Wedding is being shopped by a lawyer. Both romantic comedies are being considered strongly by a certain studio exec: I have a second meeting with him next month.

They will all be sold to a studio, eventually -- may take a year, or three years, but I know this in my bones, and whether they get green lit and make it to the screen is another hurdle, but the studio buy-out will happen and Liv has thrown all this away --

Her dreams, her possibilities, and opportunities to get out of debt and buy a home -- down the crapper. Why? Because we're getting too close and she got scared. She was afraid it would actually happen.

People who dream about certain things for 5-10-15 years, when that dream looks like it may really happen, they get scared and run away: they subconscously or intentionally do things to sabotage it, and then they'll blame it on someone or something else; just like I know when Liv looks at her failure to make a career in Hollywood, she'll blame it on me, or her job, or her life circumstances...she won't blame it on herself: because she's her own worst enemy.

She knows the only person holding back her success is herself, but she won't truly face it, nor will she do anything to change it. Nothing ever changes for her. I was trying to make that different.

And I wasn't asking for anything unreasoanble in return for my doing all the hard work and her getting 50% of the benefits when not doing 50% of the work.

I was afraid to do this alone, and didn't think I could...until last February, when Liv didn't stay in LA. after two meetings (when she dressed like a street hooker to a posh Beverly Hills hotel) and missed a great networking party at the house of Big Director (hint: first name starts with a Q) and as I was coming home on the Amtrack Surfliner, I realized I could. I realized I didn't need Liv anymore -- or she was forcing me to not need her by constantly not being there for me. She also said to me, regarding all the missed opportunities: "Maybe I'm not meant to be there."

I started to feel that Hollywood was not her destiny, but it was mine. (It can be no other way for me.) I started to realize she is not meant to be an actress, writer, or anything in the movie or TV biz, but she will forever be stuck in San Diego, a prisoner to her mother, her ex-husband, her child and her job. She will be stuck working an hourly slave job all her life and doing little theater at night -- plays that are seen by maybe a few hundred of the same people in a town that doesn't support or care much for the arts.

Last January, Liv said to me, "I keep telling myself that Julianne Moore didn't make it big until her mid-30s," but she fails to realize that Julianne Moore was earning her dues as a soap opera actress in her 20s and did many small films and didn't start EARNING $1 million per picture until her mid-30s. Liv, at 33, doesn't have a SAG card, has never done a movie or a TV show, and is under the delusion that she can get work in Hollywood living in San Diego (she's in Encinitas) when that is simply never going to happen -- not for her, not for anyone, and not for me...which is why I know I have to make the move, and wanted her to take the risk and make the move with me.

But she has proven to me that she doesn't have what it takes.

Out of anger, I started yelling at her and belittling her. But I was also testing her -- I wanted to see if she could or could not stomach the kind of criticism, cynicism and competition she would face as an actress and a writer in Hollywood. She missed the meeting at Sony, with our pilot, and I got yelled at and belittled by three execs...I almost ran out, but I stood my ground. She said she would have walked out of the office, and that made me cringe -- that would have been a bad mistake, for us both.

I know for a fact that these execs and producers are intentinally harsh just to see what you're made of, if you can play on their field, and it's a hard and dirty biz. This is why I think I may be better suited to breaking in now -- I have gone the route in publishing and theater where I have had many people tell me I'm shit, I won't make it, it's impossible, I don't have what it takes: and I have proven them all wrong. I believed in myself and succeeded where I was told I never would.

Thus, the harsh criticism I have faced so far, while painful, I can brush it off: I know what I can do and where I can go.

Liv, on the other hand, does not have that confidence, nor the experience to deal with it. She can barely take a small amount of criticism. So while being mad and hurt by her actions, I also tested her: I lambasted her failure to be a good writing partner, to make meetings, to do what it takes to succeed, because I wanted to see if she would become stronger, if she would defy me and say: "Oh yeah? I'll show you" or if she'd back off and hide.

She hid under a rock.

This is when I knew she would fail me as a writing parter, and she wouldn't be able to survive the harsh environment of Hollywood (one of her theater partners tried to make it as an actress in L.A. and ran away in fear, which is understandable: not everyone has what it takes for that city). Partners have to be equally strong, and if one falters and fails, the other falls down as well.

So I have to do this alone now. And that is what this blog is all about: my journey alone to be a film/TV writer. While I have not given the books up, and have many due on deadline, my focus right now is mainly film features and TV shows.

So let's see where I'll go.

As Mikey goes to Hollywood, will he succeed brightly or fail miserably?